Roses Really Smell like Poo-oo-oo

"I know you'd like to thank your POOP don't stank
 But lean a little bit closer
 See that roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo"

We all know Outkast said it perfectly in their song, Roses, which hit the scene in 2003. Caroline thinks she is mighty fine. We all know who that Caroline is in our lives. 

I just heard that song today and was comprehending the symbolic meaning of Caroline's poop smelling like roses. But if I take it back a few years and remember when I first heard that song; I feel like my thought process was that women's poop actually does smell like roses. And more and more after that I found that it seemed to be a common idea that women's poop does actually smell of roses. I also feel that some women actually think that THEIR poop really does smell a lot like a rose!  But where did this phrase, "Poop smells of Roses" come from? 

This idea of poop having an odor of Roses actually goes back way before Outkast was even rapping Mrs. Jackson. (that was a long time ago.) The saying that women's feces smelling like a dozen roses dates all the way back to 981 A.D. in the Western Europe region of Burgundy. As I mentioned before in a previous post, toilet paper had not hit the scene yet in Burgundy and leaves were still the good ol' tool for cleaning the caboose. Back then, the girls seemed to have more delicate skin that needed some different treating when it came to the cleaning. So before Caroline existed, Queen of Burgundy and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire, Adelaide, decided she was too good for leaves and plucked some nice roses to sooth her bum. Next thing you know, Adelaide spread the word to the women of Burgundy that roses are the best Zomboni to their Ice and all of the women started doing it. From there, once men got the first whiff on their women's behinds and loved it, they started to brag about how their women's poop smelt like roses. 

We all know that Adelaide in our lives. That one girl who just thinks her poop smells like a bushel of roses. That one girl who needs a golden calculator to divide. But even if we know that woman who thinks her poop really does smell like roses... the real question still is, do women actually even poop in the first place? 

A Simple Wipe

There are so many simple things we seem to take for granted in this life. What would life be without a toothbrush or bed? A world without clothes? I guess that would not be too bad. Or imagine a world where you butt is not offered that soft wipe after you free the legless dog into the sea? It is Toilet Paper. That sweet, soft, silky, paper that provides that TLC for the hinney.


The first signs of the goodness came from Joseph C. Gayetty of New York started producing the first packaged toilet paper in the U.S. in 1857. It consisted of pre-moistened flat sheets medicated with aloe and was named "Gayetty’s Medicated Paper". (The History of Toilet paper) Before that, what did humans use? Well, it was grass, leaves, fur, and even stones. Or possibly the left hand?


There are so many different assortments of toilet paper: quilted, extra soft, double, and scented. And these assortments of paper must seem like such a routine, simple task that we seem to take for granted as humans. But next time you are on your throne pulling out those sheets of fluffy snow to keep your bum clean, take a moment of silence. Take a moment of silence for the ancestors who suffered with chaffed cabooses for years so that we could experience a simple wipe. A simple wipe of glory.